I Binge Eat. Here's Why It Matters.

I binge eat.

Sometimes as often as once a week.
Sometimes as rarely as once a quarter.

I wrote about it briefly in my first book. Back then, I called it what I believed it was—a spiritual malady. A hunger that wasn’t really about food. I was starving for something I wasn’t doing.

In my case, it was writing.

So, I wrote.
I published the book.
It hit Amazon bestseller status.
The whole nine.

But here’s the kicker: I still binge eat.
Worse—I'm doing it more often, not less.

What gives?

See, back then, binge eating was a spiritual malady. A symptom of neglect.
But now?
I think it's a spiritual marker.

Because binge eating is rarely about food. That’s surface-level.

It’s about control.

Right now, my second book is queued up to publish late this year or early next.
I’m outlining my debut novel.
And I’m pushing hard to turn my writing from a hobby into a legitimate business.

At the same time, I’m a sprinter—wired for speed.
I want things to happen yesterday.
But they’re not. Not yet.

And so, I start to spin.
I feel the edges of life slipping out of my hands.
And when I can’t force progress, I try to regain control—by binge eating.

I don’t stop till I’m full.

For a long time, I thought that made me wicked. Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, after all.

But now I’m not so sure.

Maybe binge eating, for me, isn’t proof that I’m broken.

Maybe it’s a reminder.

A signal to slow down.
To surrender the timeline.
To let the process do its work.

“The righteous eat till their heart's content, but the stomach of the wicked goes hungry.”
— Proverbs 13:25

One oversized meal a week isn’t going to turn me into the Revolting Blob.

But rushing the journey might turn me into something worse: a hollow success. All flash, no foundation.

Becoming a full-time writer isn’t a sprint—it’s a slow burn.
And if the breakthrough came too quickly, maybe it’d vanish just as fast.

So no—I don’t see binge eating as a spiritual malady anymore.
I see it as a spiritual marker.

A red flag that says: You’re trying to take the reins again. Let go.
Let God.