What You're Not Thinking About is Killing You

Self-sabotage is the leading cause of death no one thinks about.

Why? Because self-sabotage is most people’s Default, which is the case I make in my #1 Amazon bestselling book, The Way: Out of Self-Sabotage; Into Self-Mastery.

What’s Default? You’re probably wondering.

When’s the last time you had every intention of going to the gym after work? You got in your car. You thought about which workout or body part you were going to hit that day. Then, before you knew it, you were pulling into your driveway.

That’s Default in a nutshell.

It didn’t result in death. At least not at first, but if compounded over time and a person’s health is unknowingly punted then I could make a case for it. And that’s the problem. Too many people’s Default is unconscious self-sabotage, and so one could say: what you don’t think about can kill you.

But that’s just one example, and Default is far deeper and more complex than the time it would take to explain in this newsletter. If you want a compendium of ways we self-sabotage without even thinking about it, pick up a copy of my book here.

So how do we know about self-sabotage, or at least become aware of when we’re doing it; or about to be?

In the spring of 2020, my Default was self-sabotage.

• I blew up relationships for no other reason than the woman I was with loved me too much.
• I spent all the money I ever made because being broke is a great way to cure boredom.
• I chased things I had no interest in because, no matter how difficult their attainment, it was easier than chasing the one thing that did capture my interest.

I became suicidal, and perhaps mere days away from eating a bullet, I admitted myself into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for three-months, three sessions per week. My therapist, Molly, threw the kitchen sink at me. Talk therapy. EMDR, (that’s a trip, let me tell you). But the thing that actually worked was something she called The 3 Cs.

The 3 Cs changed the way I thought about things, and then the things I thought about changed, which saved my life.

Here’s how it works:

1. Catch: think about the next thought you have, whatever it is. I’m serious, take a minute and see what comes to you. You might surprise yourself, because most people’s thoughts are self-sabotaging ones like: I’m not good enough. I’m unlovable. I deserve to be miserable, insignificant, and maybe even…dead.
2. Challenge: ask yourself: “Does this thought serve me?”
3. Change: and if it doesn’t, then change it. Flip it. Turn it on its head. I’m good enough. I’m lovable. I’m joyous, undeniably important, and ALIVE!

When you start catching your thoughts, you’ll quickly become aware how self-sabotaging most of them really are.

Make no mistake. This is work.

You have constantly think about what you’re thinking about. That is hard.

But the alternative is what most people do, which is not to think about their thoughts.

And what they don’t think about can kill them.

How’s the saying go? “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

That’s a fact that isn’t true. In order for what you’re looking at to change, you must first think about it.

So, I propose a new saying, one that could save lives, and that is: “When you change the way you think about things, the things you think about start to change.”

Because if your Default is self-sabotage, then what you’re not thinking about can kill you.

-Hunter