When the Want to Write Wanes.

The past month has been strange.

I’ve been a writer who rarely writes; even bringing myself to write these newsletters has felt… weird.

Not weird in the sense like I don’t know what I’m doing. More like maybe I shouldn’t be? Last time I checked, a writer who isn’t writing is self-sabotage. Like I said, it’s been a strange one for me these past thirty days.

One thing I’ve done though—and this is the only change that’s happened the past month—is fully surrender to God’s plan for my life.

I didn’t halfass it, either. I full-assed my surrender to Him; even if that means staying with the nation’s largest Taco Bell franchise, then so be it.

When I did that, my want to write—what’s more: become a #1 New York Times Bestselling Author—has completely waned. Now, I couldn’t care less. If I have time to write, I do. But I don’t beholden to it anymore, religiously, like I did before. Now it’s more like play, than prose.

Did I mention this past month has been strange?

Then this verse came to me:

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

– Psalm 37:4

I don’t think I fully understand it yet, but I think what this verse means is something like: if we take delight in the Lord, (by fully surrendering to Him, His presence, and furthering our relationship with Him) then our desires—our dreams, our families, our jobs, our possessions—will change to what He desires for us. When we do that, our wants and His are one-in-the-same. And if we want the same thing He wants—even if that means, if for a time, a writer rarely writes—then who gives a shit how strange things get?

Because to not want the same thing(s) God wants for our life is more self-sabotaging than not writing religiously.

I’m not saying I’m done writing. I’m just trusting Him in working out whatever He’s got planned for me because it’s for the best.